Charlottesville happened and I tried so hard to avoid being reminded of it. Trauma is a constant reality we have to face in the black community. Sometimes I don’t want to think about the people who hate me simply for existing, you know? I didn’t open instagram that morning. After the news broke, I logged out of twitter for the day. Then I get to work and was called the “n-word” by some coward of a customer.
This week has been one of the hardest ones I’ve had in awhile. Honestly though, nothing excruciatingly awful happened. I just felt overwhelmed with feelings and figuring out my next move. There’s all these goals I want to accomplish; all these things I want to be. I’m not always sure if every decision I make is beneficial to my end goal and it doesn’t help that I am the queen of overthinking. Sometimes I wish I had someone in my corner cheering me on and reassuring me during the moments I’m full of doubt. Sometimes I wish I had someone who’d say, “Hey you’ve been working really hard lately. Here’s some flowers. Here’s a plant. I know you’re trying your best. I appreciate you.” I’m slowly learning to be that person to myself.
I think in the end, things pan out the way they’re suppose to or at least thats what I keep telling myself. This evening after work, I bought myself some flowers and told myself that every “set back” is an opportunity for growth and I am growing into the woman I am destined to be.
This week I’m challenging myself to use positive affirmations whenever I feel frazzled. Have you ever used positive affirmations to adjust your mindset? I’d love to hear your favorites! xo