I was on the phone with one of my girlfriends when the topic of dating came up. While we were airing our grievances, it hit me. I’m not sure if it’s because of the overload of options thanks to dating apps like tinder; or if everyone is just a commitment phobe, but I’m pretty sure dating culture is dead. Or REAL different than I remembered it.
I’ve been single for a little over a year and a half. It hasn’t been that long, but a lot has changed since I been out the game. Here’s the way I thought dating goes: We meet someone and if we like them, we tell them. If they feel the same, we’d work towards getting to know each other and eventually building a life together. Simple right? WRONG.
I feel like when it comes to dating now, so many games are played. There is less vulnerability. Every move is strategic and if there’s any kind of friction, your potential partner has a bench full of other suitors waiting to jump in the game. The instances where I’ve let my guard down and entertain men has also left a bad taste in my mouth.
When a guy is pursing me, I’d like to see some actual effort. I can’t remember the last time one of these suitors called me up and said “Get dressed, I’d like to take you to xyz,” or “Hey, lets do dinner.” All I encounter is men asking me to hang out but then saying “idk, what do you wanna do” when its time to solidify plans. (You asked ME out. Why don’t you have a plan??) And no we don’t want to come over and “chill” at your house for the first date. I’ve seen a lot of lifetime movies. (And if I get a text saying wyd one more time.. OMG make conversation with me!)
I hate that this all comes off as complaining. Truth is, I miss the excitement that comes from getting to know someone. I miss meaningful dates with chemistry and feeling a real connection. I’m the most romantic person in the world and if I’m being real, I’ve worked really hard to unlearn toxic traits and be the person I am today. I’m just ready to feel something real.
The bottom line is, dating standards need to be re-evaluated and raised. When your pursuing someone, what are your intentions? There’s a lot of settling going on when the standards and expectations are yours to define. Be honest with yourself. Do you think dating is dead?