A Lesson In Forgiveness: Forgiving Someone Who Isn’t Sorry

forgiveness

A couple days ago I was scrolling through instagram. While browsing the explore page I noticed a familiar face and my stomach dropped. Immediately I remembered what went down; the hurtful words that were said, the lack of concern for my feelings and I got annoyed.

Growing up we’re taught that forgiveness must be earned. The wrong doer must show remorse and prove that the wrong doing wont happen again. Forgiveness is already hard. But it’s even harder when the person who hurt you isn’t sorry and doesn’t care if they’re forgiven.

It sounds ridiculous forgiving someone who doesn’t care either way, but sometimes you have to evaluate how a situation affects you. I made the choice to forgive* someone who hurt me and I wanna talk about why you should consider doing the same too.

Forgiveness is for you.

Forgiveness doesn’t equal forgetting. It isn’t a denial of the hurt that was caused. It also doesn’t mean that the wrong doer is off the hook. Forgiveness means you choose peace instead. It decreases feelings of hostility. If I had forgiven that person on instagram sooner, seeing them wouldn’t of stirred up so many negative emotions. I’m the only person that still feels a way. Forgiveness allows me to free myself from the anger and negative views I have for that person. It allows me to finally let go.

Forgiveness goes hand in hand with healing

When you forgive someone, what you are actually saying to yourself is,” I don’t want to live my life hurting over this situation.” This is where the healing begins. It doesn’t take the pain away, but it releases the hold those emotions can have on your heart. Once you realize that you have control of your joy and that no person, place or thing can take that from you, it changes your entire life.

With forgiveness comes growth

Forgiveness is a inside job that can’t be rushed. Rome wasn’t built in a day and letting go of a resentment that has been nursed and developed for years won’t happen in a day, either. I have to do the real work that comes with letting go of things in the past that hurt me. Sometimes I slip up. But what’s important is the progress.

When was the last time you truly, deeply forgave someone? It can be someone in your past or present, or it can even be you. You can share in the comment section below!

Forgiveness goes hand in hand with healing, but in some situations, forgiving someone can be too much, too soon. In situations like these, try to hold a place of possibility and desire for the ability to forgive in the future.

 

 

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7 Comments

  1. Samantha, I love this so much. Especially the line – “When you forgive someone, what you are actually saying to yourself is,” I don’t want to live my life hurting over this situation.” I often think of forgiveness as something that I’m giving to someone else, but you’ve really helped me to reevaluate/see that in actuality, it’s something I’m giving to myself. Sending love xx

  2. Completely in sync with this. Forgiveness is something I’ve struggled with for a long time, especially when I’ve felt the person has chosen to do me very wrong. But life has taught me that holding on to a grudge only keeps us in a “victim” state, one that paralyzes our own growth and movement forward, and keeps us stuck in the belief that our past is more powerful than our present. I *try now to view forgiveness as an act of self love, something for me, rather than the other person. Thanks for posting this! 🙂

  3. Honey this is music to my ears. I have been progressing with the act of forgiveness. I had someone hurt me in the past and I told myself I forgave. Then later experience triggers that brought me back to unforgiveness. I found myself ready to confront and go off but it ended bad. In that moment God revealed to me that he’s my redeemer and not man. This pushed me to let go and let God when dealing with forgiveness for those who just aren’t sorry. Thanks for the reminder to forgive and keep pushing forward.

  4. I thank you so much for dropping this reminder of forgiving those who have hurt us deeply. This is one thing I struggled with a year ago. Once I finally forgave those who hurt me, many doors of happiness and joy opened up for me! Forgiveness is key to remaining happy and free from a negative situation.

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