There Are Years That Ask Questions and Years That Answer

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This was the year I lost myself. The year I picked up a pen and left it all on paper. The year I cried until the tears dried up. The year I smiled a little harder at strangers. The year I found comfort in the unknown. The year I unpacked all the hurt and sent it away. The year my heart slowed down to a reasonable pace. The year I sat in my sadness. The year that felt like war. The year I was surrounded by love.  The year I blossomed into a woman that will not settle. The year I was found. It’s all here. Two thousand sixteen wasn’t always good to me but boy did she teach me so many lessons.

I don’t want to go into detail because the past is the past and what has happened is done but the last three months were so hard for me. It’s funny because I am the “strong” friend. I am the friend thats “been through a lot.” I am the “talk you out of your sads” friend, but when I found myself feeling low, I had no idea how to get myself out of it. I felt too ashamed to ask for help so I kept to myself and watched everything around me start to deteriorate.

Don’t ever do that. Don’t be like me. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable even if you are always pictured as strong. Don’t be afraid of what people will think of you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Like seriously, even if it’s just texting a friend and asking them to spend time with you. There’s nothing wrong with being human.

There are still a lot of things I have to unlearn but I am so gracious for small victories. Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, it’s easy to think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted (*insert plant emoji here*) Everyone has dark days. Everyone struggles. But they also have brighter days because they worked their butt off to get there. Don’t fear your growth.

 

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2 Comments

  1. Certainly this year has been the same for me. I choose to seek professional help and see a therapist now. It’s one of the best choices I’ve made. 2016 is for the lessons!

    Zora never lied “There are years that ask questions and years that answer”

  2. I’ve had to tell myself over and over again to reach out for help when I needed it. I was that friend too — the one who always listened. always helped. But when it was time for that help, none of those people would be there. It was time that I started reevaluating my friendships and cutting some people loose. And I did. I only associate and share my life and ask for help with people who truly give a damn about me. My circle is much smaller, but the love is twice as greater.

    I’m glad you made it through the year hun. Here’s to 2017! May it be amazing for you! May you continue to grow and bloom where you’ve been planted.

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