The Break up: Best Friend Edition

break up

Maybe it starts with your friend moving to a new city and they aren’t texting back like they used to. Different schedules and new priorities make it hard to time conversations just right and you begin to hear from them less. Or maybe there was an argument; something unforgivable was said. You’re usually the voice of reason, but this time you’re too fed up to take the high road. Or maybe nothing in particular happened. Maybe you woke up one day and realized it’s been months since you’ve heard from your best friend.

We’ve all experienced the pain of ending a friendship yet theres this weird silence when it comes to talking about the heartache associated with this sort of loss. It’s almost as if we aren’t expected to mourn. (or at least not talk about it.)

Over the last couple of years, I’ve found myself growing distant and eventually losing the intimate bonds I had to people who were so close to me. Some friendships faded so effortlessly that I don’t have an explanation as to why it fell apart. Some friendships were toxic and one sided so they had to end. Either way, it didn’t make letting go any easier. I see their favorite animal and think of them. I’ll be somewhere minding my business when a song will play and remind me of a special moment we shared. I still feel like I carry bits and pieces of all my best friends with me.

Life has a funny way of going on, whether you’re ready or not. On one of my best friend’s birthday, I was sitting in Chaifetz arena with another friend. I was watching the basketball game and enjoying his company, but all I could think about was how it’s her birthday and we haven’t spoken in months. That night I went on Facebook to send her well wishes only to find out I was no longer on her friends list.

I guess what I want you to take from this is it’s ok to mourn losing a friend. It’s ok to miss them and even feel the urge to reach out. Just like with any breakup, it’ll get easier. Until then, be gentle with yourself. Figure out what values are important to you when it comes to friends. Be a better friend to the people you still have around you.

With all the craziness that life can throw your way, having a friend is a blessing to be cherished. Certain chapters have to end so new ones can begin. Have you ever had a best friend break up?

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